Think before you speak...?

Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -

the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could

immediately take the words back...

or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow

and asked loudly,

"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a ********?"

I turned around and walked back out and never went back

My husband didn't say a word...

he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes,

I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.

He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and

passed by a store that sold a

variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case,

the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

My sister started to laugh hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day,

my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon,

my toddler decided to release

some pent-up energy and ran amok.

I was finally able to grab hold of

her after receiving looks of disgust

and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving

"right now" she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,

"If you don't let me go right now,

I will tell Grandma that I saw you

kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and

walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands

It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco,

I smelled something funny,

so of course I checked

my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.

The realized that Danny

had not asked to go potty in a while.

I asked him if he needed to go,

and he said "No" .

I kept thinking

"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."

Then I said,

"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"

"No," he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,

bent over, spread his cheeks

and yelled

"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,

he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.

An old couple made me feel better,

thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

Think before you speak...?

ha ha ha funny

Think before you speak...?

lol

the last one is the best

Think before you speak...?

Lol, I enjoyed the second one the most. Thanks for the laughs!

Think before you speak...?

ROTFLMGDAO

The last 2 were my favorite

for this you get a star

The Showstopper

The Headliner

The Icon

Mr. Wrestlemaina

He's all heart and pure attitude

He's HBK

Chain Gang Soldier for Life!!!!!

Think before you speak...?

I liked them all but the first one i didnt really get it but they were still really funny

Think before you speak...?

These were great, but you said 6. Only 5 are listed!!

EDIT: Thanks for posting the 6th one. That was really funny. Sounds like something I would have said.

Think before you speak...?

ha ha ha and ha

Think before you speak...?

Well done, I like the fourth and the second best!

Think before you speak...?

LMAO and PMSL!!

Think before you speak...?

LOL WOW IMLOVED THE LAST TWO. BUT I DIDNT REALLY GET THE FIRST ONE

Think before you speak...?

ha ha ha

Think before you speak...?

Haha. I heard this one on Y!A last week, but it's still funny.

Think before you speak...?

They where all great.......A good come back, for the lady in number #4 might have been, since she was in a bank, Yeah, But the moneys good, or " the Pill didn't work the last time"

Think before you speak...?

Excellent!

Think before you speak...?

oh thank you, haven't laughed so much in a long time.

Think before you speak...?

brilliant - best i have heard in ages

you get a star

Think before you speak...?

okay........

Think before you speak...?

yeah..

i like that word...

thing before you speak..

my mother always say to me like that....

are u my mother??

hak..hak...

Think before you speak...?

pmsl great, made me giggle thanks

Think before you speak...?

lol hilarious!!! have a star!