Rate this poem on the scale of 1-10(along with your comments if any amendments r to be made).?

Here I am chained and captived

Every passing moment for me does drift

And is tightened with these men's stare and glare

While I remain famished and hungry mumbling my prayer

I am clubbed,flogged and slapped

All my strength dullness has sapped

They hit me hard and tweak my hair

Eyey brimmed with tears no one cares

My heart fills with delight and eyes with glee

For i see you coming to set me free

But trickling tears washes all my hopes away

Because you stab me hard and weave back your way .

its much lyk an older one .those who haven't read.plz do and comment:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Rate this poem on the scale of 1-10(along with your comments if any amendments r to be made).?

Poetry is such a subjective individual thing but if you want my opinion I liked. If I have to give it marks out of ten then I would give it 7. It is a very depressive poem with a lack of hope in it and that is perhaps the only reason why it is not a higer rating for me. From a critical point of view:

"And is tightened with these men's stare and glare".

"these men's" does not really make sense to me. I would have just said "men's"

"Eyey brimmed with tears no one cares"

Of course, the eyey should be eyes. I would also think about putting:

"Eyes brimmed with tears AND no one cares".

Just seems to flow better to me.

Rate this poem on the scale of 1-10(along with your comments if any amendments r to be made).?

Well lets see, first of all i'll give you a 5 because a good poem should capture your attention right away and your poem didn't do that very well BUT it doesn't matter because you are expressing yourself and not me. The important thing is that YOU express what you feel. If you are trying to make people want to read it I suggest you put "hope and faith" into it...my opinion of course, and get attention right away. Metaphorse would be nice but don't use cliches such as Bird in a cage. Try the "sleeping ferine" as in that you have energy in you and you aren't going to give up.

Rate this poem on the scale of 1-10(along with your comments if any amendments r to be made).?

I; ve seen your poetry and girl you are really great,You really should think of writing a book.All of your poerty i;ve see of yours is all upto 10 all the way..Lots of luck always,.,.,

Rate this poem on the scale of 1-10(along with your comments if any amendments r to be made).?

Young Poetess:

I agree with Yoboking in an important point he mentions "You are the poetess who is expressing herself"; and as always the use of the words is great.

Peachie is right on her comments, you should follow her advise.

My reaction, you make me sad this time, but you always do a good job, keep it up.