Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take theWords back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few women who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a ********?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my Sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a particular question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so, of course, I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then, I realized that Danny hadnot asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow-but don't get any....a true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
hahahahah brilliant, lmfao!!!
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
nice..dats funny i will give u a star
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
well you made me laugh very well put.a star on the way.
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
omg... i love the 5th testimony!!!
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
LMAO!!!
ARE THESE TRUE!??
hahahahahaha
starred!!
the fifth one had me in tears!!
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
good one...here's one for you
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period," said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period?"
"Damned if I know," said the little boy, "but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
CHeeRioS
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
there funny but kind of predictable. the testimonys were dumb though. r u making a man one?
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
Funny 1 funny 2 funny 3 funny 4 funny 5, have a *****STAR*****
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
Haha you definetly get a star =)
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
that deserves a star!! ding! there ya go!
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
Brilliant, especially the kid one
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
ahhahahhaha
your sooooooo naughty
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
Ha ha very funny. lol!
:-)))
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
Lol they were soooo funny.
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
lol...
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
lol ***** for you good ones loved the last one
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
A star in the making that was hilarious.
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
I kneel to your brilliance Hail to the KING
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
How embarrassing specially the one in the bank I'd have died.
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
Ha Ha! Funny!
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
Hahahahahaha, nice one babes, loved it.
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
this is by far the best posting on here, lve seen for ages
the last one had me in stitches
well starred
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
all are good
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... faves are 2%26amp;6
Those were the best I've seen since the joke about the dog named sex.
999999999 stars you deserve but I can only give 1
Joke:::::Words We Can't Take Back?
lol good one, star for you, thx for the laughs , keep them coming and get well soon my friend
we miss you around here and hate to see you sick
No comments:
Post a Comment